So I’m suffering the internet and I find all these really cool things linked to my Penname, “Jamiesgirl.” Yeah, I really didn’t think it was going to go anywhere and I sort of didn’t want it to because some of the stuff I write, let face it. I write stories for High School Musical! I am ashamed of it? Yes and no.
-Yes, because I’m a 25 year old writing stories that have Disney characters in them. When I started on this writing journey for this, I was really bad. Like really, really bad.. Oh my goodness I tried to make them sing. Re-reading some of those make me cringe. I seriously might re-write some of those just because its down right embarrassing.
-No, because my stories rarely if ever have anything to do with the original story of High School Musical. Stories like Reborn, Old Memories, Just The Beginning, Love Struck (I hate the ending for that one), and Getting Rid of Steven Rodgers. Those stories make me proud, they make me happy and it’s because when I wrote these I wasn’t working two jobs, taking 4 classes, and traveling two hours by train on the weekend in and out of Chicago.
-Overall, if I had to do it all over, I would. I hate that for some stories I get really personal. I hate lying to my family, but sometimes it’s like I’m on this pedestal and if they were me looking down from up this high they would see that I really, really don’t belong there. Trust me folks there is nothing honorable about the smut I write or the things I have on my mind.
In reality I’m 25 years old, the right age to fuck things up and still have enough times in my 30’s to fix it. My credit is horrible, my job stability is still a little fuzzy and a lot about who I am and what I like is still under construction. I’ve been splitting my worlds apart for so long I really don’t know who I am anymore. Am I Jamiesgirl, Punkpoet, Mita, Anais, or am I this chick who post a lot of funny things on Facebook.
The writing world is tough, it’s a bumpy road of self-conflicting inner wisdom that comes and goes. There are times where it is a mental state of: Fuck it I’m one person get to know me because I’m here. Then there are other times were the metal state is more: Oh my god they’re going to read this and I quickly need to sweep everything under the rug and put a deadbolt on my closet door.
It’s hard being who you are to everyone, mostly because I’m scared shitless about what other people will say. Kevin Smith (AKA God of the DIY) Once said “You can’t please everyone.” He was right you can’t please everyone, no matter how hard I try in the end the only one I need to please is me. I need to stop asking why and I need to start looking at it as why not.
Kevin smith also said “Everybody's got one killer story. It doesn't take talent to tell that story, it just takes experience.” I have been writing almost all my life, from Scribbles to printed font on a screen, I am a writer. I eat, sleep, and breathe writing. I can’t be embarrassed about it anymore, I can’t say that I’m the next Emily Bronte or Mark Twain but what I am saying is that I have a passion for storytelling.
So this is me coming out of my Storytelling closet.