I’m tired, stressed, overworked, underpaid and at times a little underappreciated. Then again who doesn’t feel that way these days? Who honesty ever feels like they’re getting everything they wanted out of life. Truth be told that feeling is fleeting and is only attainable for small moments at a time. I’ve been super busy all week with grocery shopping, hosting guest, training my new puppy, visiting family and all the while I’m working on a big project at work. Right about now I’m wishing I was in my bed, under my covers, and staring at my eyelids.
Writing this week has been rare and I’m feeling that drag on my mental health. I’m suffering from mind-numbing feelings brought on by confusion, aggression, and bitterness. It’s a nasty place in my mind right now folks. It’s bad, my hands physically hurt from the frustration of not typing or working on my writing. I have so many idea’s to work on and not working on them is backing me up.
My honey is working two jobs these days and I feel horrible. I feel like I can even do my part as a roommate anymore. I cook, I clean, and have been shaving my legs on a regular bases. I mean, if I can’t help with the bills, the least I can do is make your dinner, clean your living space, and get you off whenever you’re in the mood right? It’s my duty as a woman to keep my man happy. Don’t misunderstand, I’m not saying we don’t live by the ‘happy wife, happy life’ motto. He does what I want, when I want, and how I want. I’m a lucky girl.
The pressure of the book is looming on me, will it be good enough? Will people like it? Will it be embarrassing? Will it haunt me to my grave? Will the point fly over everyone’s head? What am I going to do when I see that first bad review? Am I strong enough to see it? Will I do this right? Will I make enough money to pay the gas bill at least? It’s stupid to put financial expectations on this book, because, let’s get real I am not Steven King or J. K. Rowling. This is reality folks, this is the writers mind when she doesn’t relieve her addiction.
Without practicing her art, a writer will turn into a panicked bug repeatedly flying into the light! That is the reality of Writer’s Withdraw. This writer is feeling defeated right about now and she’ll be hiding under the covers as soon as possible this weekend.