What makes me a writer?
Is it my consistent ability to write for hours? Is it my general interest for plots, characters, and dialogue? Would it be the many hours I spend daydreaming about the big what if? Maybe I’m a writer because I document my daily activities and thoughts? If that were the case than every time someone updates their Facebook status they would also be a writer.
So what is it that sets me apart from the bazillion people typing away on their Facebook app? I think it’s my adoration of humanity that makes me a good storyteller. I love watching people interact, I love interacting with people so that I can feel reactions. However despite all this I’ve never been really good as a friend. I try my best not to pull the fade away on friends, but it happens. Something always does.
I’ve never been a trusting spirit. I’ve never really been a constant spirit either. My thoughts, views and opinions on things are always changing. Two weeks ago I hated Miley Cyrus, three days ago I was singing Wreaking Ball like I was a Miley Cyrus impersonator, and today I find myself in a complicated relationship with Miley. I want to love her, I want to hate her and I wish she wasn’t so circa Brittney Spear 2007, but what can you do these days?
Truth is, that’s how I feel about people. One day I love them the next day… not so much. It really hard for me to have a best friend because of this, but no more. I want to start a new chapter next year, I want to reconnect with people. I want a solid group of people that I can talk to. I’m making a change in my life by coming out of the writer’s closet, so why not make a positive change by introducing myself to new experiences?
When you’re writer you tend to be more closed off not because you prefer your characters from real life people but because real life people don’t understand your characters. Everyone will always think your writing about them to a degree. This isn’t me playing to an ego of mine, this is me tell you how it is! There are four facts about being a writer that almost makes it impossible to keep a friend.
Fact #1: Facebook. If I’m wrong then why does every fight on Facebook generate because some thinks a status is about them. Every time you read through your Facebook news feed you instantly become curious if someone you talk to recently is upset with something someone said to them. You beginning running that last conversation through your mind and wondering if there possibly talking about you.
If I write a story, if I make a character and you relate to them in some way. You’re going to think I’m writing about you. You’re going to take it personal and you might even hate me for what happens.
Fact #2: Human Nature. Face it there’s always someone outside the fishbowl that thinks they know everything about the water inside. I have relatives like this, most likely so do you. You know that one aunt/uncle who swears up and down that you’re exactly like them at your age. That one parent who wants to live life through you and thinks you guys are best friends.
If I write something, everyone thinks they’re a critic. They think they can help, they don’t care if you ask for it their going to tell you who it should be. They’re going to tell you that they have the perfect story for you write. They’re going to assume that you are going adhere to their advice and when you don’t … awkward.
Fact #3: Trust. This is something that is almost as rare to come by as holding a $500 dollar bill. In many ways it’s exactly like holding a $500 dollar bill. You know what it is, you know what it looks like but you can’t recall the last time you had it. Sure you have 10’s 20’s 100’s even a few dollars that might add up to $500 but there nothing like holding the real thing. And when you do have it, it’s fleeting.
Can I trust you to read my stuff and tell me the truth? Can I trust your opinions and views on my work? You don’t want to hurt my feelings and if you do then what happens to our friendship? Can you trust that I won’t take it personally? Or think about this what if you gave me the next Harry Potter idea and I took it and ran with it. Bam I’m a success, I’m rich and famous and you’re knocking at my door to remind me of you help. I refuse to give you anything we decide to sue, we lose money, we fight, and we destroy each other’s reputation.
Fact #4: Rape. Now I know what you’re thinking. Stop it. This last one is pretty out there but when you live life as a writer it’s hard not to rape every relationship of meaning by writing about it. As a writer we get inspiration from the strangest places, any seed of information and we pounce on that shit and feed on it for days.
If you tell me something in secret and it sparks a flame in me how can I resist? As a writer we can turn it into a poem, book, short story, haiku or just a blog and instantly a secret turns into a public event for others to comment, question and express opinions on. You feel violated and because I changed the names and place I can’t possibly understand why you’re mad at me.
So... what makes me a writer?
Well. I’d say it’s my inability to keep friends, and I'm planning to change that. Just... don't ask me how.
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