It would serve me better if they put shopping carts in the middle of the store where my pride realizes I have too much shit to carry.
Seriously, I have yelled at grumpy old men while shopping at Walmart because I’ve had to run all the way back to the beginning of the store just to get a cart. That wasn’t my fault either the old man cursed at me first!
I was minding my own business trying to rush back to my boyfriend who was stranded in the aisle with a bag of dog food, charcoal, three bottles of dog shampoo, nail polish I had to have, a cute phone case and dog treats. Mind you we only went for dog food, but that’s Walmart for you.
Anyway these old guys were in front of me at the entrance and I’m trying to stay behind them with my cart. (I have manners after all.) I’m keep my distance but at the same time they’re coming to a stop and both these guys decide to stand there like they’re not standing at the fucking entrance hogging up all the aisle space?!?
After a little failed fancy maneuvering from behind as I try to find a way through this chain link of old dude, one of them turns to me and says “Go on we wouldn’t want you to miss you’re fucking flight.”
At first my inner Puerto Rican weaves her head back and forth saying “Oh no you didn’t?” But the educated college student in me says “Thank you, the fucking entrance isn’t a stop sign!”
Now I’m storming back to my boyfriend and in a rage of I should of whoop their ass syndrome, I’m raising my voice and yelling about these two old men while hoping like hell ones behind me so I can give him the stink eye. In many ways my temper is very much like my mothers.
And this is not my only shopping cart drama at a Walmart!
I was at the Golf Mill Mall Walmart after a long grueling day back when I was a loan auditor. I was just doing a small groceries to get us through the week you know all that shit you never think to buy because you like “Soap? We don’t need that we got like three bottles at home.” Then like a month later those three bottles are gone and it takes you by surprise that today instead of washing like usual you’re substituting with Shampoo.
So there I am going through my list, checking things off almost done feeling good about myself because the days almost over and I can go home and drink a beer to forget about my existence and the fuck faces at work who make me cringe. I decide to pick up more Shampoo but we all know that this task for a female is not as simple as grab and go.
I’m looking for something that’s going to give me the moisture and tame the fizzy beast also known as my hair. Finally, after sniffing four bottles I turn to drop the winning brand into my cart. This is when I pause and double take. My cart is no longer there? I’m looking around like a little lost child, I’m looking for anyone that might have seen what happen but aside from some pimpled face teen stocking shelves who didn’t see anything, I’m alone.
That’s when it hits me, someone has stolen my shopping cart. In a mad dash someone eyed my shopping cart filled with goodies and decided to steal my bounty. Lucky for me my trust issues force me to hang onto my purse at all times so I’m only set back by my time and energy. This was considered an epic fail and I was forced to start all over with the process including going all the way back to the beginning of the store to get a damn shopping cart.
So there you go. My name is Anais and I have shopping cart problems.