You don’t have to like them, you just have to love them.

December 2, 2013

My Thanksgiving was filled with family fun, family drama and lots of drinking to get it over with. This year we had five thanksgiving dinners planned. Out of the five we ended up going to four. I’m really thankful for the large family that I have. It’s a blessing to have so many people around you who care and love you so much.

 

This thanksgiving it was a clash of tempers between my father and I. As always I am an ungrateful, disrespectful, non-loving, and treat everyone like shit person. It happens a lot, its sad how use to it I am. While my father might believe that each argument we have is monumentally different in reality my father and I have the same argument again, and again, and again.

 

The problem was that my mother (No surprise this starts with her) kept calling me all week in her attempt to get me to drop my other holiday plans and go to her house instead. That day I could not drop my plans. I had to get a new tire, get my Christmas cards from the photo shop, deposit money in the bank, transfer money to another bank, get a haircut, put the tire on my car, check out a storage unit and then hopefully make it to my uncles dinner at 4pm.

 

My mother however had other plans. She wanted us to be at her house. She called my little sister who was with me, to tell us that our older sister was at the house. The plan was that we would all get together on Saturday but I guess something came up and she had to work. Unfortunately, and I don’t mean to be a bitch, but my world doesn’t stop turning because her plans change. I still have shit to do and I still have places to be. It’s thanksgiving not the fucking end of the earth. I’ll see her and the kids another day. As for my little sister well, yes she's going far away for college (Lucky) so she isn't around as much but she's only here for four days. Then she comes back in two week for a month so she didn't find it to be the big deal it was either. If our older sister had a problem with this she would have said something. She didn't.

 

But in the end my mother won, and we went all the way back to her house. When I walked in I was furious, of course! But I was not rude. I simply asked what was so important that we had to come all the way back to the house. When they asked what was wrong I proceeded to tell them I have things to do, I have another dinner to get to, I was still in my errand sweatpants for Christ sake? I did not raise my voice, I did not throw things around or start throwing out curse words like a sailor. I was frustrated, I believe I had a right to be.

 

The conversation was over my point was made I took a moment alone in the dining room to cool off. My mother’s friend came in I said hello, I smiled, made a joke and then my little sister comes up and says dad wants to see you downstairs. Here is my point about the same argument over and over. The first thing he said to me was that what was wrong with me being in his house for five minutes. He said this very angrily I replied with nothing, I came over, I just have things to do and the plan was to be here tomorrow not today.

 

My father proceeded to yell, raising his voice telling me I was rude and that I disrespected him in front of his guest. The only people there when I came in was my sisters and my parents. No fucking guests. My boyfriend was still trying to get errands done. So because he lost that point he proceeded to tell me I don’t appreciate all that he has given me, I don’t respect the childhood he provided, he done so much for me and I treat him like shit and he always comes off as an asshole. According to my father I treat everyone better than them.

 

This has been his argument for the last 9 years of my existence. I don’t know how to respect him, I don’t know how to be grateful. You know what for three weeks my father called me Jamie’s tits because he thought it was funny. Pretty sure that’s not respectful. Every gift I’ve ever given my father has been trashed about, lost, or given away, I’m pretty sure that’s ungrateful.

 

As for my wild college years. Well I was never allowed to be at college. My parents kept me at home EVEN THOUGH I HAD A DORM ROOM. I was not allowed to spend my weekends on campus or spend any free time there. If I had it, I had to hide it from them so I could stay on campus.

 

You know what! If you want me to at home through my college experience then gear the fuck up because I guess you want to go through it with me! I mean seriously that’s why you go away to college. And it not like we couldn’t afford for me to stay there I was paying for it, I had a full time job through college to pay for it. Shit I still am paying for it in student loans. You’re supposed to do crazy stupid shit! You’re supposed to experience life! If you want to keep me chained up at home for that then you going to see shit you don’t like. I’m sorry but I have to grow up.

 

When I finally got freedom it was when I moved out of my parents’ home. I will always be grateful for the life they gave me I will always respect my parents because they have a life together that they built and they provide for us very well. I will always love them because they love me and when they’re not calling me names or telling me that I’m their screw up kid, I assume it’s true. I love them but I don’t have to like them.

 

To top this holiday off with its slice of pumpkin pie. My mother tells my father I am legally bipolar. She tells him that I am not on my medication and that is why I went off. So there it is world the answer to my problems is all in my mother self-diagnosis. Apparently I am bipolar, watch out world I’m off my meds.

 

Other than that my Thanksgiving was perfect. We ended up not going back to my parents’ house after that. We stood home, relaxed ordered pizza and watched Christmas movies while putting up the tree. My holiday was perfect and now until my parents miss me again I get to have some peace and quiet while I participate in them ignoring me.

 

Happy Hoildays!!

 

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