It’s official, I am now Punkpoet69. I have dropped Jamiesgirl from my Fanfiction profile. A process I’ve been working on for a while now. Nervously biting my nails as I think about the veil I take off by doing so. By doing this it’s like combining all the different parts of me into one girl. Punkpoet69 is my official internet name and you can find me no matter, go ahead, and look me up. (No, seriously, look me up. I’m like the first 3 pages of google.)
When I started this blog, I had no idea what I was going to do with it. I knew of only two things: I loved writing, and I loved the idea of blogging about life as a writer. It’s why I called my blog Behind the Pages. This blog is all about my life as a writer. The documentation of my journey through my dreams.
To accompany my big leap, I have created a Facebook fan page for Punkpoet69 because, she is, after all my online pen name. Why shouldn’t she have a platform of her own? Punkpoet69 currently has 62 likes. A number I want to grow into a thousand. That’s my goal, for this summer. Push Punkpoet69 out there, let people see her and admire what she can do. After I reach a thousand, I’m gunning for 2 thousand, then 3 maybe even 4. Who knows where this will go? But I’m excited to see how far I can get it.
If you’ve been following my blog up to this point, first of all, holy crap. I must say thank you for your interest in my project, your interest in my life means more to me than I could ever put into words. But if you’re just tuning in, I’ve been working slowly on this project for what seems like a long time. Almost a year now. Originally, I considered it to be my way of coming out of the writer’s closet.
Everything I do going forward is all part of the new me. That’s right, I’ve been making a lot of changes to my lifestyle. I’ve ditched a lot of my dark clothing and I’m embracing a world of bright colors. I’ve been eating healthier, getting into crafts and just taking life as it comes. I’m planning to move in July to a new apartment. One with more room, hopefully a new desk in my future. Fingers crossed.
Of course, not being Jamiesgirl is a big step, don’t get me wrong there is always going to be a special place in my heart for Jamiesgirl. She was my hidden online identity for the last 7 years. But there something about Punk Poet, in High School Punk Poet was a stage name. A name I wrote all my poetry under and a name I preformed under. Having that identity was like slipping into another person. I could be bold. Talk about my experiences, talk about me and what I was feeling and people listened to Punk Poet.
Punkpoet69 is a new grown up version of Punk Poet. The 69 addition means a lot of things, other than the obvious dirty reasons you think I picked it for. Hehe, some of you know me too well. 69 is actually a symbol of my two identities. I am Anais and Punkpoet69 but never really at the same time. Almost like Batman or Superman only I’m way prettier when I put tights on.
69 has gotten a bad rep for many years because people perceive it to be this oral sex position. They tend to forget it’s also a symbol of yin and yang. I mean I guess you could think of that image of man and woman together, about the giving and receiving ideals that come from that image in your mind. But when I think about it, it’s about the balance it requires to be both identities. The balance that’s about allowing yourself to give but also receive from two side of particular thing. In this case, my writing life and my personal life.
This is what the number truly represents. The yin and yang of balance. Therefore we can take out the sexual connotation that the number has and remember that it’s just a symbol for the attachment between the two people and where the links are created.
Follow me on Twitter @Punkpoet69 or like my fan page on Facebook at www.facebook.com/Punkpoet69