#BridalPreppingAdventures

March 28, 2017

I'm calling bullshit. Bullshit on the entire situation.

 

Did you just get engaged? Here’s my advice.   

 

There is blood. There is sweat. There are so many tears, you should probably just invest in a life-jacket for your sea of hormones.

 

I've been engaged a few months now, and I'm ready for my magical moments to start happening. But surprisingly beside the burlap, twine, mason jars and blazing hot glue guns there is no "that was easy!" button.

 

I can't tell you how many times people have told me how excited they are to go to my wedding. Most of the time, those people are invited. But some of the time, its people I've met maybe three times tops? Maybe! It becomes old friends from High School, people that you have no idea why you’re still Facebook friends with.

 

And what the hell with vendors? Being a woman doesn't mean I know how to plan weddings. While many of them have been kind about my ignorance, there seems to be a constant, persistent expectation that I should have more of this wedding thing figured out. I mean who the hell is responsible for creating this lie about my double-X chromosome giving me fluent abilities in this secret wedding language.

 

It gets exhausting. Thank goodness for the internet, because I can Google "wedding underwear" and "American bustle" in the privacy of my own home.

 

And I remember when I bought stuff. Like, for fun? Those were the days. It started out optimistically, saying, "We have a good budget! Plus, we can just DIY a ton of stuff." This enthusiastic phase ended quickly. Maybe on day three.  Then I became this hard and cynical person who said things like, "are Styrofoam plates tacky?"

 

Is it July yet?

 

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